Twilight - Just another lousy teen movie?

For all Twilight fans. Or not.

Whether you like Twilight or not, if you've both read the books and seen the movie then you are welcome go through my list of what I thought were the shortcomings of the movie.

Do not be confused between mistakes and shortcomings. For technical mistakes and goof-ups, visit sites like IMDB where you can get a more than satisfactory list of them. My only purpose here is to highlight what, IN MY OPINION, the movie lacked .. and WHY I think it sucked.


1.
Robert Pattinson = Hot.
Edward Cullen = HOT.
Robert + Edward = An ugly too-fair freakazoid.

2.
When Bella's made to say "Purple's cool" what are those guys playing at? Instead of adding silly, random, UNNECESSARY lines like that, they could give more time to the important scenes.

3.
Wasn't everybody supposed to know about Bella's arrival and be excited about it? And wasn't every single person in the school supposed to know that Bella was supposed to arrive? Then why is it, that when she first parked her truck, NOBODY noticed her or even talked among each other about her..?

4.
When Tyler says "Nice Ride" he IS trying to be nice, right? Cuz everybody is supposed to be in love with Bella on the first day. Well, if he WAS trying to be nice .. then why did the girl next to him say 'good one' and then laugh?

5.
So who knew Eric would turn out to be 'chinky looking' ? And, fine .. he WAS supposed to be chep .. but nobody said anything about him acting gay.

"La Push, baby; La Push." ..
"Chillax" ...
"I got your back, baby" ..

WTF?

6.
Mike Newton: "What's up Arizone, huh? How you liking the rain *girl*? Better get used to it, *girl*".
WHAT is with his whole 'GIRL' thing? Are they trying to portray him as retarded?!

7.
Isn't Angela supposed to be nice and sensible? She seemed as giggly and A-crowd as Jessica. "Maybe he'll adopt me" .. WHAT?

8.
THEY didn't put the 'part-albino joke'. That was ONE worthwhile joke in the book, but NO they HAD to skip it. Its like what they did in HP and the Order of the Phoenix. They took out the 'accio brain' part :(.

9.
Jacob has teeth more like a vampire than Edward. LOLeshwar?

10.
Nikki Reed just wasn't a good enough choice for Rosalie. Whatever happened to the "most beautiful girl ever" thing? Reed looks good otherwise, but as Rose, she looks stupid, fat and VERY ugly.

11.
Edward doesn't need to breathe right? Then in the bio class scene when Bella walks in, WHY does he hold his nose and pretend like its so hard to breathe? If Pattinson was a good enough actor, the fact that her smell almost caused him to kill her could be portrayed merely be facial expressions. His hand covering his nose part wouldn't have been required. Also, he just looked ugly because he did that.

12.
When Edward introduces himself, WHY is he asking a question?
"Hello? I didn't get a chance to introduce myself? I'm Edward Cullen?"

13.
THE GOLDEN ONION? I can't even comment on this.

14.
"You're asking me about the weather?" is what Bella says as if she can't believe her eyes and ears. OMG, how the hell can somebody ask me about the weather?

She doesn't even know yet that Edward's not human. So what's so strange about a normal human being asking you about the weather?

15.
"Its the fluorescence"
Way to go, Edward. Amazing comeback.

16.
During the Jeep incident, wasn't Bella supposed to get even a little hurt? I mean, in the book she wasn't completely unscathed. Then wtf happened?

17.
Carlisle was supposed to be like REALLY good looking, right? Weren't all the nurses supposed to have a hard time concentrating on their job with him around? Peter Facinelli isn't really that good looking, I'm sorry.

18.
"You can google it"
Uh oh. Another modern teenager movie? Really nice.

19.
How can his mood swings give HER a whiplash? Does she even know what whiplash is?

20.
Whatever happened to Bella being unwilling to share her theories about radioactive spiders, and Edward having to convince her? And doesn't EDWARD mention Kryptonite as a joke? WHY did they change the dialogs when the originals would have taken the same time to be said?!

21.
Whoever Jacob's friend was .. Quil or Embry .. either. He looked like a old man. I know their growth rate is supposed to accelerate but that is just ridiculous.

22.
Bella was supposed to FLIRT with Jacob to get him to tell her the Quileute story. Don't tell me THAT was flirting?!

23.
Money - Sex - Money - Sex - Cat.
AGAIN. Totally irrelevant to the story and NOT funny.

24.
So .. erm .. I'm confused. If Laurent was a vampire, wasn't he supposed to be fair and beautiful too? Why was he NOT fair then?

25.
Edward sparkles in sunlight, right? So when Edward and Bella come to school that one time, why is he wearing dark glasses? Dark glasses are only worn in sunlight and he obviously can't go out in sunlight ..
Or, wait .. was he trying to be 'trendy'? Because he looked like an effing DONKEY with those glasses.

26.
Ok, this isn't needed .. but Edward did look good in the scene when its raining :) *sigh* AND when Clair de Lune is playing .. and all the scenes during Bella's Lullaby were definitely cute. I would love to be able to climb a tree and go so high. Wow *sigh*

27.
You better hold on tight SPIDER MONKEY?!
Now that was just SAD.


I ran out of patience to do the analysis of the entire film. I'll do it later.

Meanwhile, WHY does Isabella in the film always have to state the OBVIOUS?!?!?!

"You were gone"
YES, He KNOWS he was gone.

"You're eyes were black the last time I saw you and now they're like golden brown"
WOW. VERY observant of you.

"You stopped the van. You PUSHED it away with your hand"
I think he knows that :|

"Your hand is so cold"
LOL. I couldn't stop laughing at this line.

"You're impossibly fast and strong. You're skin is pale white and ice cold"
Edward ko toh ye sab pata hi nahi tha .. After being a vampire for almost a century, I'm sure he doesn't know all that about himself. Thank you for clearing that out.

"Its so wide and open, you know?"
Yes, Bells, it's EDWARD'S HOME. Surely he knows that.


~More Later
Signing Off
Mallika Priya Khullar

I have Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia !

Has anyone else noticed that the toughest words in the English dictionary usually have something to do with Phobias?

Illyngophobia?
Athazagoraphobia?
Dermatopathophobia?
Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia?

You have GOT to be kidding me !

OK it's official, I have a fear of the phobia list !

I never really thought about it, but now realise that this is something to think about: how many people really exist in this world .. and every single one [except maybe a VERY SMALL CREED OF PEOPLE] are afraid of something or the other, however courageous they might try to appear upfront [though, of course, courage is not not feeling afraid; courage is the power to overcome fear to work for something that needs done].

I mean, I was recently going through the list of fears and you wouldn't believe what all people can be afraid of ! Well, there's Panophobia, which is basically fear of everything.. turns out, there are also fears of birds, heavens, eyes, dreams, rain and sleep as well.

†So for future reference, here's a relatively short list of what I consider 'rational fears' =†

Acrophobia - Fear of heights [one might accidentaly just fall over and DIE]

Achluophobia - Fear of darkness [well, not exactly 'rational' .. but common anyway]

Agraphobia - Fear of sexual abuse [yes, this one is definitely rational]

Antlophobia - Fear of floods [ok, unless you're one of the animals on the ark or Noah himself, you should definitely be scared of floods]

Atychiphobia - Fear of failure [yes well, don't we all have the 'OMG I'm going to fail my Social Science exam' moments?]

Carcinophobia - Fear of cancer [hmm, cancer is DEFINITELY scary]

Catagelophobia - Fear of being ridiculed [yes, if you're changing schools/tuition/cities/countries .. or anything else, there always is this little fear]

Coimetrophobia - Fear of cemeteries [well, not exactly 'rational', but yes, common. "Look out! There's a skeleton behind you !]

Coprastasophobia - Fear of constipation [milk of magnesia, anyone?]

Defecaloesiophobia - Fear of painful bowels movements [ouch]

Dystychiphobia - Fear of accidents [somebody should go and watch the Family Guy movie, who knew one tiny accident could change so much?]

Enissophobia - Fear of having committed an unpardonable sin [I mention this because I myself am very scared of ever doing anything that would ruin my reputation for life]

Gerascophobia - Fear of growing old [reminds me of The Mirror by Sylvia Plath]

Lilapsophobia - Fear of tornadoes and hurricanes [refer to Anthlophobia]

Panthophobia - Fear of suffering and disease [well, self-explanatory]

Samhainophobia - Fear of Halloween [Well, India's perfect for them, isn't it?]

Selachophobia - Fear of sharks [ha, JAWS]

Thantophobia - Fear of death or dying [no comments here]





†And this is my list of fears that are nothing but plain hilarious =†


Aerophobia - Fear of swallowing air [aah, that is very interesting]

Arachibutyrophobia - Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth [Ok, this is simply classic]

Bogyphobia - Fear of the bogeyman ['He's in my cupboard!']

Caligynephobia - Fear of beautiful women [too seductive, you think?]

Coulrophobia - Fear of clowns [you know, clowns can be pretty scary =P]

Cyprinophobia - Fear of prostitutes [aww, the guys who have this will sure be taunted]

Ephebiphobia - Fear of teenagers [nice to know we scare some people!]

Ereuthrophobia - Fear of blushing [not ready to face the embarassment just yet?]

Erotophobia - Fear of sexual love [uh-huh]

Geliophobia - Fear of laughter ["No, don't tell me jokes! I'm afraid of laughing and hearing people laugh!"

Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia - Fear of the number 666 [funny, this]

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia - Fear of long words [is this somebody's idea of a joke?]

Hominophobia - Fear of men [well, I am also afraid of men, some at least, including those dark strange ones walking on the road with their mouths full of tobacco]

Ithyphallophobia - Fear of seeing, thinking about or having an erect penis [at least you know these one's will never watch porn!]

Judeophobia - Fear of Jews [I'm sure Hitler secretly had a case of Judeophobia, because that would explain a lot]

Lachanophobia - Fear of vegetables ["Mom, I don't like the way that Zucchini's staring at me"]

Malaxophobia - Fear of foreplay [Hmm, suppose you call over your better half over and there's nobody else at home? Aah! Nightmare ;)]

Metrophobia - Fear of poetry [Well .. its hard to even imagine somebody being scared of poetry. Bored, yes.. but scared?]

Papaphobia - Fear of the Pope [HA!]

Parthenophobia - Fear of virgins or young girls [wow, impressive, this]

Pediophobia - Fear of dolls [refer to *Coulrophobia, you know there's a reason why horror movies have so many dolls lying around]

Pentheraphobia - Fear of one's mother-in-law [Go watch Monster in-law. That ought to give you an idea]

Peladophobia - Fear of bald people ["Oh no! You're BALD"]

Phobophobia - Fear of fear [whoa, leave this page right now!]

Teutophobia - Fear of German [Haha, refer to my earlier post]



So you see, fear is a really interesting concept once you start thinking about it. I'm sure as we move on in life, we'll come across many people who are afraid of things people wouldn't people was possible, for example wearing shoes, eating chocolate, fingernails.
Wow, it makes me so happy just thinking about people who would be afraid of the above mentioned. Can't wait to find a victim to try Scare Tactics on !

More Later.
Signing Off.
Mallika Priya Khullar

Learning Another Language - Really Needed?

I have spent my entire childhood and youth in the same school. From the age of four, until now, I've been in Amity International School, Saket and I know for a fact that there can be no better school to tend to my needs and to help me in reaching my goals. Out of the many things I love about this institution [to be covered in another article] one of the things that I appreciate the most is the prevalent presence of neophilia. The students in our school are more than willing to learn new things, to really accept our school as a temple of learning.

One very fine example to quote at this point of time would be that of the choice of language that is to be decided by our students. Before the beginning of ninth grade, every pupil must decide which language they wish to continue learning in the next couple of years.
The choices offered are - German, French, Hindi and Sanskrit.

Amongst us students, Hindi is the most common language and English is not far behind. Most of us just learn a foreign language for the sake of it in School. So why do we even need to learn a foreign language [I don't have any comments about learning Sanskrit as a language]? As if any of us would ever need to actually speak German, French, Spanish, Russian or Japanese in our lives ..

Wrong.
People who wish to live their entire lives blind to the outside world, happy with their monotonous lives and mediocre jobs can continue to consider the learning of a foreign language as an added burden to their already pressurized lives. They can spend their entire lives building a happy little tent of oblivion and never feel the need to zoom the camera out and see the lie they call their life.

The fact of the matter is that our country is no longer cut off from the outside world. Globalisation is growing at a very fast pace. The world is no longer divided into multitudinous societies, but itself exists as one huge society. Overseas jobs are no longer available to only a few priveledged handful. Now, in such a world, is learning a foreign language really such an 'unnecesary burden'?

A large proportion of students, when asked, answered that they would pursue higher education in a different country, a few of them specifically mentioned Germany as an ideal choice. Yeah, as if pursuing higher education in a country like Germany can really be managed without a little prerequisite knowledge about their native language.

Therein lies the point I've trying to put through. Hopefully my job here is done.

More Later.
Signing Off.
Mallika Priya Khullar.

Just as an afterthought, my heartfelt gratitude to Goethe Institute for what they've been trying to do.